Zeorthly, and aside. This post as not inspired at all by this posts or the jerkwad that left Jen such crass feedback. Timing is coincidental.
I decided to meditate. Based on previous advice from @sqlanodyne I went with this guide, with the additional caveat that I’d do a lotus pose during the meditation no matter the cost or consequence. Over-committing made me the programmer I am today, perhaps in time it can make me someone that can meditate with my legs crossed. On the second day I had some lingering pain around my knees and I decided to take some yoga classes. I paid $50 for a month of unlimited classes at a hot yoga studio that had the virtue of being the closest yoga place to my house. I went to a class. I sweated. No full or half lotus was done. This is not about that. This is about me being in a yoga class with only one other male.
It went generally well. I felt generally comfortable. No one seemed uncomfortable by my presence. The instructor was not the best yoga instructor for n00bs, but I sat in the back, watched everyone, and made do with the situation. Years of being a socially inept shy person makes me comfortable in a socially uncomfortable situation. I have an odd feeling of familiarity when quietly observing others in an unfamiliar situation and following along.
Then I though about what would be a more comfortable situation for me. Something not comfortably uncomfortable, but comfortably comfortable. The answer is a weight room. A bunch of guys bigger than me, teasing me, but spotting me and pushing me to be stronger. Not at all an inclusive situation. A literal testosterone filled situation. However, I have experiences dating back to high school in a weight room. I have a place and a rank. That rank may be Omega, but in the Yoga studio I am Omega with an asterisk. I am other. In the weight room I belong. Someone will spot me. Someone will invite me into their groups rotation.
So what’s the conclusion? Mindfulness and relativity. The platinum rule. Treat others like they want to be treated, not how you want to be treated, because other people don’t want what you want. Maybe your comfortable with your brogrammer behavior. Maybe someone less white, less male and less twenty-something is not. Build an org where some feel like the omegas, but none feel like they have asterisks.